ILLUMINATI®
Top X9 Reasons Why Eris Discordia Loves This Game
by Patrick speaks-for-discord Rodgers (from Illuminated Newsletter #49, Oct. 1994)

0. Non-simultaneous turn processing promotes confusion; ensures that nobody ever knows for sure what's going on.
1. Discordian Illuminati has good chance of winning (no warranties expressed or implied. Not valid in OH, CA, or AL).
2. Illuminati Newsletter perfect place to spread Discordian religious propaganda free of charge.
3. Enjoys watching howls of frustration when entire turn fails because critical orders were given to a group that someone else took away earlier in the cycle.\
V. Where else can the World Coven of Witches gain control of the Radio Evangelists?
4. Helps demonstrate truth of conspiracy theories to complacent populace.
6. High-ranking Flying Buffalo employee secretly diverts Illuminati profits to Eris Discordia's off-shore slush fund account.
7. Royalties go to Steve Jackson Games, which are reprinting Principia Discordia (or so Eris has been told).
8. Printouts run over breaks in page, making it impossible to organize turns in three-ring binder or similar blasphemous device.
9. 'TOP SECRET" message at top of printout causes trouble for players in military, corporate security, Congress and/or prison, espionage, Freemasons, etc.
X. Roommate/spouse,parents become alarmed when player overheard on phone discussing plans to infiltrate International Cocaine Smugglers and work with Fourth Reich to steal funds from Mafia.